My Reason; My Purpose

It’s such an incredible feeling when you have a genuine encounter of your lifes purpose. A true connection with the creator of it all. A revelation of what this all means and what we are all meant to do.

I can say that I found myself in that moment last night and to be honest still find myself soaking in the realness of it all.

Whether you believe in a higher being or not take a moment to consider what your life is all about. We were not simply put here to work, make money, pay some bills and maybe afford a little vacation here and there. Those things are temporary and not truly soul satisfying.

All my life I’ve been coasting through life trying to figure out why am I truly here. Why was I born? Why did I survive all that I have?

I found many fillers over the years and for certain seasons in my life I had found that moments purpose, the reason I had made it that far. But lately I had been coasting again, lost and wondering the same ol question “what’s my purpose?”.

I’ve read many books that gave being a mom as a purpose and I had always pushed that one to the side because I always felt like being a mom was just something you did if you had kids, nothing grand.

But last night I found myself face to face with the realness of this life, the shortness of it all. I was in a panic, I had anxiety, I was scared, lost, my mind was clouded, there was death and negativity all around me. It was something so real all that was left to do was just to physically see it standing there before me torturing my mind, confusing my thoughts. This is a night that I never want to forget because though it was truly scary to go through it was a moment of awakening, a moment so true in clarity, ironically enough.

My purpose, my reason, everything that makes me who I am and who I will continue to become, the thing I was put on this earth for and the reason I made it to this very moment so far MOTHERHOOD!

Yes, being a mother is my calling, it is my reason to move forward in this life and continue to work on becoming better than who I was yesterday. I live today for them. To teach them the true meaning of life, to help them find their true purpose, to give them hope and faith in a world lacking compassion and belief. A task I looked at as something minuscule. I thought parenting couldn’t really be a calling, I mean you had a kid ok now do what must be done, right?

But that’s just the problem nowadays. No one is looking at this role as something to be taken serious and our kids are pretty much raising themselves now. No one is really putting time into what they learn and how they behave or how they think of not only others but of themselves as well. No one is really listening to their wordless cries. We leave them in front of tvs and devices and call that a day spent “together”.

Our children are the future for this world no matter how long or short that may be they will still be the ones needing to lead and encourage and motivate and make some kind of change around them. We must invest in their future now. We have to take the time to talk with them not only about what they’ve done or how they feel but also just get to know them. See how they tick, how they think, what interests them. Are their minds being filled with doubt, hate, distrust? Who are they becoming??

This life is fleeting, it is only temporary. And if there is something out there after this life such as heaven and hell, I would rather work my whole life for an eternity in heaven then be careless about hell. The thought of feeling all the negative super intense feelings I felt last night but feel them every day for the rest of eternity gives me such a heavy sadness and terror. It is not a place to be reckless about and our life here and now is what determines our seriousness of our choice in eternity.

I choose love, peace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, I choose changing my ways from a life of confusion and wandering roads to a path of eternal life in a place that is only asking good things of me.

Even to follow no law is to still follow your own.

I’ve heard this saying my whole life and I’ll leave you with this:

I’d rather live my life right believing in a God of love and mercy and asks me to lead a noble, humble, soul fulfilling life die and find out it wasn’t real.

Then to live my life according to my own joys and pleasures and consider myself the god of my own life because there is no such thing as heaven or hell, die and find out it was a real and I ended up in the wrong one.

Just something to consider I guess.


Thank you for reading my ramblings about this in-explainable experience  I encountered yesterday. I hope I did somewhat of a good job explaining it..


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